I wanna go..
EVERYWHERE.leave,experience things by myself,see how things work other than Western New York,that's pretty much all I've seen.school is holding me back,I'm not saying I'm gonna drop out or stop caring,but,it really really is.I'm so motivated to go and not stop,go help someone,a mother,a child,a father,someone who needs it.I want to experience a different culture,get to know too many people and see what's REALLY going on in the world.
call me a dreamer. I remember hearing so so many people tell me this when I was little:
"if you put your mind to it,you can do it."
we'll see,I guess.
If there is such a thing as "Junioritis" I definitely have it because this year has already drained me and it has only been ten weeks.I know I should be writing the two essays I owe,I know I should be working on that LTA that is due this week,I know I have plenty of worksheets to do.I know I am not motivated enough to do it all. This is just how I work,I know I have a lot to do but when it is all thrown at me at once,I collapse, I don't do what I need to be doing,I get easily frustrated and bewildered by all this work and that's just how I handle it.It's not good,I know it's not,I'm admitting that.I don't feel like I should be so so excited to leave high school,but I am.I just don't work well like this.listening to a person drone on and on,with a powerpoint doesn't help me understand what's going on because all I'm worried about is being able to copy down all the notes before the next slide comes on.
I have finally realized that I have to work on myself.I think about my life and things I could change to make me better.have you ever thought about how you act towards people? or what you say to them? and I guess you just don't realize how it effects them in so many different ways.I have heard this a thousand times and it still stands true to this day "treat others the way you'd want to be treated." I'll admit,sometimes I don't realize how mean or hurtful the things I say are,but I know I'm not the only one.no one is perfect.we are all just works of progress.
So,I'll leave you with this verse.think about it.
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
people change, sometimes for the better and (unfortunately) sometimes for the worse.I have changed.
friends will come and go,I guess no matter how much I'd like for this to not be true,I will have to learn to accept it...it's life.maybe people don't realize that I,yes me,Nikki Schang,have my own problems to deal with,I know,it's crazy talk but I really,really do. have you ever had day[s] where you really just want to stop thinking,just about all the bad things atleast. just a break from hectic life? I'd love to just sit and not worry about something/someone/anything.I know,what I'm saying is surreal but oh well,it sounds nice to me.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."